Rainy days and Tuesdays.
It’s hard to believe that this is now week twelve of this sparkling isolation experience. This morning I returned to the spot where I have written most of these posts instead of relocating to my kitchen. I woke up and realized that it’s kind of a gray, gloomy day and there is no bright cheery sunshine in the kitchen today. So I figured, why not go to the comfortable armchair again?
For this one morning, I am ok being back here to write about yesterday but I do know that I need to keep moving around and trying new spots. The rut that I talked about yesterday is still weighing on me and I don’t want to slip back into it unconsciously. I suppose that rainy days, to quote the song, “always get me down.”
Yesterday I kept myself in the kitchen for the entire day instead of migrating to my home office. Until mid-afternoon, the sun was still out and even though it had passed overhead and wasn’t shining directly into my east-facing kitchen windows, it was still bright and cheery. About 3 p.m. the rain started, probably the remnants of the latest hurricane that hit the Gulf Coast and traveled up the central part of the country. This morning, as I write about my day yesterday, we are set for more hot, humid, thunderstormy weather.
After my revelation yesterday about routine turning into rut, I tried to pay more attention to my thoughts and actions throughout the day. I found that there are many small ways in which I have become stuck in certain patterns. Most of those patterns are small and related to how I focus on my job, but there are a few related to personal and home issues.
For instance, I realized that I make my coffee in precisely the same way every morning. I was also using the same coffee mug and had been for at least two weeks. I have plenty of mugs – more than I need – but for some reason I had just grabbed one and never bothered to swap it out. Another small thing, but I am making an effort to use a different mug each morning now.
If you read back into earlier posts in this series, you will read about my efforts to shift the energy of my apartment. I have moved furniture and rearranged things to adjust the Feng Shui of my environment. That’s all important, but I now realize that as those energies began to shift, I did not shift with them. I was clinging to the old energies and even tried to migrate those habits and patterns into the new arrangement of furniture. I moved the armchair, for instance, but then recreated the same activities in the new location.
This has been a great lesson to me about change. Changing the outward appearance of something is certainly important, but the true change does not come from that outer shift. The true change has to be internal. To extend a metaphor here, it’s all fine and well to slap a new coat of paint on something that is broken, but if you don’t fix it then all it becomes is a broken thing that looks great.
For me, all of this shifting of my environment has given me new patterns of energy and now it’s up to me to weave those patterns into something new and different. Truly, this is the personal version of what’s going on in the world right now. The world has shifted. We are being given a chance to make new, better choices.
What are we going to build with them?
It’s only Quarantine if it comes from the Quarante province of France. Otherwise, it’s just Sparkling Isolation.