Every day things seem to change. I have limited myself to only checking the news for 10 minutes a day, but even in that brief ten minutes I was astonished at how much was different from yesterday. Today’s big social media focus was on the current resident of the White House saying that we are all overreacting and that we should just get back to work and re-start the economy. And if that kills off a bunch of people, well that’s just too bad. Profit is far more important than saving lives, right?
I feel more and more every day like I am living in some weird dystopian novel. Where else would the government say something like, “Hey, let’s kill off a bunch of people so that corporations can make more money.” Where am I living?
On the other hand, there were a number of positive things in my world today, and I felt almost normal for much of it. I worked remotely, of course, but managed to get a fair amount of work done. I left midday and went to the gas station and grocery shopping. While I was driving and shopping, I felt almost like it was a normal day.
Work was not overly stressful today, and my supervisor finally called me to catch up personally – so I feel like he, at least, cares about my well-being. The leadership of my workplace still hasn’t sent anything that shows they care about us, but at least my direct supervisor seems to care. It doesn’t change the fact that I will never, never forget that the ‘higher ups’ of my workplace have proved that they are totally uninterested in the well-being of their employees – that fact will never leave my mind. But at least I feel like my more direct supervisor is an actual compassionate human being.
I have been unfollowing more and more people on Facebook lately. I appreciate friends who are concerned and who care, but I am simply not interested in getting post after post after post – and then private message after message – with videos and links to “confirmed sources.” I know that it’s all important information, but I am not interested in sharing hysteria or panic or anger or any negative emotions. I am certainly not burying my head in the sand, but I am also not inundating myself in drama. Frankly, my own day-to-day struggle to stay focused and positive is hard enough without people who “mean well” sharing their panic with me. If I could just send out a universal message to people on social media it would be, “Don’t send me anything related to COVID-19!” Please.
Despite the weird dystopia, on the other side of my life I am still operating like I would normally operate at this time of year at work. I sent in a request for someone to start designing my next season brochure. I sent files to marketing and am working on the text for the brochure itself. I hold out hope that we will be able to have shows again in August.
Overall, this was a decent day despite my sense of isolation. We are one week into this (at least from my perspective of working from home). I can only take a deep breath and know that it’s a “one day at a time” situation. For now, I am doing ok.