Sparkling Isolation – Day 55

On the Coronacoaster.

One of my friends mentioned the term “coronacoaster” to me today. I am sure it’s not new to everyone, but it was a new-to-me term. I had to laugh because that’s precisely how I have been feeling lately.

At one moment, traveling along at a nice normal rate of speed, then suddenly quick turns that come without warning – not bad, just surprising. Then things seem to be slow and difficult, struggling uphill one agonizing inch at a time. Then, just when things seem to be coming to a place of balance – Whee! Down so fast that your stomach turns inside out and it feels like a deadly crash is coming. At times you even turn upside down and spin around without warning. But just when you think you are doomed, you suddenly stop falling, whip around a tight curve, and then you’re back on a slow, steady, easy road again.

My emotions have definitely been like that. Up, down, whip around, slow down, inch agonizingly uphill, suddenly fall so fast that I don’t have time to even understand what I’m feeling. This weekend was like that. Friday was an all-time low, Saturday was inching uphill to a good place, then suddenly I fell fast into the melancholy of Sunday, and now today I feel like I am in a more normal, steady kind of place emotionally.

Since I’m dwelling on this extended metaphor, I will keep on with the image. I have always loved roller coasters. Something about that wild uncertainty actually creates positive adrenaline for me. But I know that for some people, roller coasters are like their worst nightmare. I remember going to Disneyworld years ago with a boyfriend. He detested anything like a roller coaster, so I often found myself partnering with one half of another couple who also had that love/hate divide for roller coasters in their relationship. I actually made some friends over the years by bonding with those more adventurous strangers.

In this current weird world we are all living in we are all on the Coronacoaster together. Unlike a traditional roller coaster however, there’s no chance to sit this one out. So I guess we all have a choice – go with it and find a way to enjoy the parts you can, or spend all your time complaining about the whole experience and wishing you could just get off. I admit that I have moments of complaint, but overall I feel like I am doing a good job of just being honest and then moving on to the next moment.

I understand that the ride isn’t going to stop and let me off – so my choice is to just go with it. I don’t have to love every minute, and heaven knows that I am not loving every minute, but I can do my best to find positive energy whenever and wherever I can. Today I was busy with some work-related projects that were actually interesting and engaging, so I felt almost “normal” for the first time in ages. This was a good feeling.

Who knows what tomorrow will bring? It’s like being blindfolded while you are on the Coronacoaster, I guess. You can feel some of what’s ahead, but the details are going to be a surprise.

Whee!

It’s only Quarantine if it comes from the Quarante province of France. Otherwise, it’s just Sparkling Isolation.