Bending the rules.
I feel like I am finally settling into a sense of how to navigate being alone in my apartment. Just like a typical Sunday, I slept in late and allowed myself the leisure to lounge around in a t-shirt and pair of sweat pants for most of the day.
One of the things that started to help me today was the advice from the Quarantine Challenge on the Screen-Life Balance website (https://mailchi.mp/screenlifebalance/quarantine-challenge). One of the tenets of this challenge is to start and end your day with journaling on a series of specific questions and then also making promises to yourself about what you will and will not do during the day. One of the specific items is to plan first thing in the morning the specific times during the day you will allow yourself to check the news and for how long. I decided to make it once per day at noon for ten minutes. I set the alarm, checked for ten minutes, and then logged out of the news sites. Done.
Even before this strange world we are living in now, I found that social media was making me depressed. I was falling prey to that syndrome of comparing myself to all of the “perfect” people I was seeing on social media – people having fabulous vacations, doing amazing things, eating the most exquisite foods on the planet, hanging out with famous people, etc. Social media seems designed to give all of us inferiority complexes.
Now of course, social media is making us all anxious, afraid, depressed, and angry. I have enough of all of those emotions going on without social media, so I am making a conscious effort to step away and not to scroll down my Facebook or Instagram feeds. I post a few things and I follow responses to those, and I pay attention to when someone tags me. Otherwise, I have stayed entirely away from reading anything online.
That seems to be helping.
The best moment day, however, was once that I am sure will cause some people to judge me. I have friends who invited me to grab takeout from my favorite place and to come to their house for a chance to get together and have human interaction. There were four of us and we had a marvelous time. The only strange thing for me was that we all consciously did not touch each other – no hugs, no hand shakes – and we chose to sit farther apart than normal. Otherwise, it was a delightful evening of sharing food and wine and just laughing and feeling “normal” for a few hours. Frankly, if I cannot occasionally sit in the same room with another human being I will go crazy.
So today I am feeling better about life because I managed to re-energize a bit. Tomorrow I go back to work (more or less) so we will see what that holds for me. Frankly, I don’t know what I have to do since I canceled all of our upcoming shows and most of my job relates to advancing shows or dealing with finances – both of which are off the table now. So I guess I will log on to my work computer and activate my phone and sit around waiting for something to happen tomorrow.
Until then, I will just sip some wine and feel grateful that I am healthy and that I have good friends who will help me navigate this strange new world.