• Menu
  • Skip to left header navigation
  • Skip to right header navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to secondary navigation
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • Explore Chicago
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

The Local Tourist

Experience the fascination of a tourist; Feel the comfort of the local

  • Travel the U.S.A.
    • The Midwest
      • Illinois
      • Indiana
      • Iowa
      • Kansas
      • Michigan
      • Minnesota
      • Missouri
      • Nebraska
      • South Dakota
      • Wisconsin
    • The South
      • Arkansas
      • Mississippi
      • North Carolina
      • Oklahoma
      • Texas
    • The West
      • Arizona
      • California
      • Colorado
      • Montana
      • Nevada
      • New Mexico
      • Utah
      • Wyoming
  • Travel Tips
    • Travel Now
  • Road Trips
    • Two Lane Gems
  • Cultural Travel
    • Arts and Culture
    • Attractions
    • Food and Drink
    • History
    • People
    • Roadside Attractions
  • Great Outdoors
    • Camping
    • Hiking and Active Travel
    • U.S. National Parks
  • Shop TLT
    • Travel Two Lane Gems
  • Travel the U.S.A.
    • The Midwest
      • Illinois
      • Indiana
      • Iowa
      • Kansas
      • Michigan
      • Minnesota
      • Missouri
      • Nebraska
      • South Dakota
      • Wisconsin
    • The South
      • Arkansas
      • Mississippi
      • North Carolina
      • Oklahoma
      • Texas
    • The West
      • Arizona
      • California
      • Colorado
      • Montana
      • Nevada
      • New Mexico
      • Utah
      • Wyoming
  • Travel Tips
    • Travel Now
  • Road Trips
    • Two Lane Gems
  • Cultural Travel
    • Arts and Culture
    • Attractions
    • Food and Drink
    • History
    • People
    • Roadside Attractions
  • Great Outdoors
    • Camping
    • Hiking and Active Travel
    • U.S. National Parks
  • Shop TLT
    • Travel Two Lane Gems
  • Contact
  • Work with TLT
  • Travel Writing

Sparkling Isolation – Day 30

April 16, 2020 //  by Tommy Hensel//  Leave a Comment

10shares

Should.

Lately I have been noticing so many “shoulds” and “should nots” going on in my own mind. I am sure most people have heard the pithy piece of advice, “Stop shoulding on yourself.”Well, I have been “shoulding” all over myself recently and it’s time to take a closer look at that pattern. This time of isolation has given me the leisure to spend plenty of time to allow my mind to wander, to just see where the default of my brain chooses to go.

As I noted in an earlier post, my negativity bias was installed early and has been a powerful part of my life. For a number of years, I have worked – very hard – to repattern that bias and it really has worked. But deep down, when I am tired or inattentive, the default still goes down the rabbit hole of negative thinking.

Today I realized that when my negative inner dialogue starts to take over, the overwhelming pattern is one of “should” and “should not.” There is some part of me that seems to be focused on some cosmic list of what is appropriate and what is not. I remember, back in the mid 80s, I stage managed a production of the play “Inherit The Wind” by Jerome Lawrence and Robert E. Lee. I have always remembered this quote by the character of Henry Drummond:

“ . . . one of the peculiar imbecilities of our time is the grid of morality we have placed on human behavior: so that every act of man must be measured against an arbitrary latitude of right and longitude of wrong – in exact minutes, seconds, and degrees!”

From “Inherit the Wind” by Jerome Lawrence/Robert E. Lee

It seems like somewhere in my consciousness is a little imp of some kind that does exactly what that quote describes. I think or say or do something, then I hear an inner voice say to me, “You should not be doing that” or “You should do that instead” or some variation of those.

  • You should eat a healthy breakfast every day.
  • You should be more productive when you have all this extra time.
  • You should not complain – your life is much better than most people.
  • You should not drink so much alcohol.
  • You should not eat so many starchy carbs.
  • You should exercise more.
  • You should lose weight.
  • You should not spend so much time online.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Ad nauseum.

During this time of quarantine, I have so much more time to myself with no option but to just listen to my own inner dialogue. Yes, I meant dialogue – not monologue. It may sound schizophrenic, but the voices in my head are not just one voice going on and on and on. It’s me talking to myself and actually having full conversations. I am actually a witty sparkling conversationalist in my own mind. 

Today, I have been frustrated by this judgmental voice – the once that keeps “shoulding” all over me. I don’t have any answers on how to silence this voice, but at least now I have become aware of it and realize that it’s there.

Part of my mission during all of this transition in my life is to work actively to be more kind – both to myself and to others. But today, the kindness to myself is the important focus. I cannot silence these inner voices – they are part of me and have been there for my entire life. But at least now I can hear them more clearly and know when they are positive and when they are not.

Incrementally, I can start to notice – stop – assess – repattern.

I now understand that it’s time to stop “shoulding” all over myself.

It’s only Quarantine if it comes from the Quarante province of France. Otherwise, it’s just Sparkling Isolation.

10shares

Category: ThoughtsTag: Sparkling Isolation

About Tommy Hensel

Tommy Hensel is the Director of the Fine and Performing Arts Center at Moraine Valley Community College (www.morainevalley.edu/fpac), a position he has held since January 2008. A native of Columbia, South Carolina, he has worked for more than 35 years as a professional actor, singer, stage manager, director, and arts presenter. He holds a B.A. in music and a B.A. in communication from Florida State University and an M.A. in theater from the University of South Carolina. He currently serves as Chair of the Illinois Presenters Network and is a board member of NAPAMA. He served as co-chair of the 2018 Arts Midwest Conference and currently sits on the professional development committees of both NAPAMA and Arts Midwest.

Prior to his move to Chicago, Tommy was an 11-year resident of the Seacoast region of New Hampshire where he served as Executive Director of the Rochester Opera House and sat on several non-profit arts boards. He has served on grant review panels for the New England Foundation for the Arts, New Hampshire Arts Council, Vermont Arts Council, and Illinois Arts Council. During his years as an arts presenter, he has also served on the juried showcase panels for the Arts Midwest Conference and Performing Arts Exchange.

Among his many theater credits, Hensel was the founding artistic director of the Harrisburg Shakespeare Festival (now part of the Gamut Theatre Group in PA). He has over 50 professional directing credits to his name and an extensive resumé as a theatrical performer and cabaret singer. In Chicago, he has a side "gig" as a restaurant reviewer for The Local Tourist website (http://chicago.thelocaltourist.com) and blogs about travel and food at https://www.tableforoneplease.com.

Related Stories

Tommy Hensel

Sparkling Isolation – Day 248

Tommy Hensel

Sparkling Isolation – Days 151 through 247

Tommy Hensel

Sparkling Isolation – Days 144 through 150

Tommy Hensel

Sparkling Isolation – Days 136 through 143

Tommy Hensel

Sparkling Isolation – Day 135

Tommy Hensel

Sparkling Isolation – Day 134

Tommy Hensel

Sparkling Isolation – Day 133

Tommy Hensel

Sparkling Isolation – Day 132

Tommy Hensel

Sparkling Isolation – Day 131

Tommy Hensel

Sparkling Isolation – Day 130

Tommy Hensel

Sparkling Isolation – Day 129

Tommy Hensel

Sparkling Isolation – Day 128

Previous Post: «Red Rock Canyon outside of Las Vegas, Nevada Two Lane Gems, Vol. 1: Chapter 33 – So. Many. People.
Next Post: Two Lane Gems, Vol. 1: Chapter 34 – Look, Jim, I’m a Goat! Overlook of Zion Canyon»

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

Your Cart

  • Contact
  • Work with TLT
  • Travel Writing

Site Footer

Disclosure

We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.

Privacy Policy

© 2021 · The Local Tourist · Experience the fascination of a tourist; feel the comfort of the local