Sparkling Isolation – Day 15

Does anybody really know what time it is?

Lately I have had a hard time remembering just what day of the week it is. Today I experienced that same thing, only with time. It felt as though time had slowed down and even stopped at some points. Every glance at the clock seemed to show that only a few moments had passed since my last glance.

I have also found that my eating schedule has become unusual. Even though I try to create a regular schedule, I find that I am just not all that hungry at the “normal” times. Today I had a light breakfast at 7:30 a.m. then realized at about 3 p.m. that I had skipped lunch. I had what passed for dinner at 4:30 p.m. and then found myself starving again at about 8 p.m. so I made popcorn.

On one hand I keep hearing that it’s important when in these sorts of situations that you create and keep a regular schedule. Then I keep hearing things like “Don’t be hard on yourself. Just allow your schedule to be what it needs to be.” Which should I do?

Honestly, I lean towards the second. I try to keep a schedule, but it has started to feel stressful for me when I try to force myself into a rigid schedule. My bow towards normalcy is my morning routine. Once I have finally gotten out of bed and started the day I shave, shower, dress and make coffee or tea. Then I journal using a specific list of questions to help me focus and get into a positive frame of mind. I then check email and social media. Once that’s done, I “commute” to my home office and start my official workday.

After that regular ritual, however, I have started to find myself at loose ends. That’s where the loss of time has begun to creep in. Because I don’t have a massive amount of work to take care of, there are vast tracts of time during the day where nothing is happening – no email, no calls, nothing time-sensitive to take care of. So I find myself just sitting there listening to music and waiting to hear that “beep” that signifies an incoming email.

Today I took two walks outside in the mercifully sunny weather. I participated in one virtual meeting and another virtual webinar. I spoke to a few friends and I managed to get a few tasks done for work. All in all, I suppose it was a productive day but for me it felt like the endless day. Truly, most of what I accomplished felt pointless.

That’s the crux of my problems today. I feel like everything I am doing makes no difference at all. I feel as though I am spinning my wheels, just biding my time, waiting for something important to come my way.

Until then, does anybody really know what time it is?

Does anybody really care? Today, I must admit that I don’t.

It’s only Quarantine if it comes from the Quarante province of France. Otherwise, it’s just Sparkling Isolation.

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