Tavernita: a swooning review by Paige Worthy.

Last summer, just after starting a new job in River North, I got that old, familiar feeling of a kid staring at the wrapped presents under the Christmas tree, desperate to know what lay behind the paper and plain square façade. The vacant windows that once looked in on the desolate, dust-covered interior of the long-shuttered Martini Park were one day covered in brown paper to conceal the activity inside, and the anticipation began of what would take its place.

Turns out it was Tavernita, the newest venture from Mercadito Hospitality, headed up by chef and partner Ryan Poli, who I was lucky to meet during last year's Restaurant Week, shortly before he left Perennial to start working on the new restaurant.

I'm not going to lie: As much as I loved meeting Ryan, as much as I never questioned his abilities as a chef, I wasn't exactly enthralled to sample his wares when I saw his Feb. 2011 quote to Eater: "I think vegetables will be the new pork."
Yeah, thanks for playing.

But as the hype behind Tavernita increased, I forgot his obsession with vegetables and let myself soak up the buzz.

Fast-forward to the Feb. 1 cocktail-party opening celebration.
When I got the invitation, it felt like Christmas had, in fact, arrived. And the months of waiting, wondering obsessively what was behind that plain paper, were definitely worth it.

The space, which is absolutely massive for just one business to occupy, has been divided into three distinct sections with three distinct personalities: the main dining room, which has its own bar; Barcito, a “stand and eat” bar with a casual but clubby feel; and a dim, lounge-y area that would be perfectly suited for private events.

The exposed-filament lighting cast a mysterious, sexy glow he buttery leather banquettes, rich wood, colorful glass and metal accents throughout the restaurant took on this exotic, industrial feel that transported me to a Spanish establishment I’m guessing I would be denied entry to upon presenting myself at the door. I am not cool enough for this place.

But Chef Ryan is absolutely cool enough. He worked the crowd all night and somehow managed to look dashing in his chef’s jacket and a band holding his dark, flowing hair back (what IS it with foxy chefs in this city?!). He told me everything was going fantastically well…in that “waiting for the other shoe to drop” way. 

At least we know that when there’s a kink in the process and the other shoe drops, it’ll probably be a Louboutin or something.

I did take some pictures, but…in retrospect, it would seem I was more concerned with stuffing my face. I won’t apologize for that.

On to the food, then. The best news here: Looks like Ryan forgot his obsession with vegetables, too. MEAT. MEAT…MEAT!!!!!!

Here's just a sampling of what we tried:

• Beautiful silver spoons topped with a bite of hamachi crudo, garnished with avocado, lime, jalapeño and cucumber
• Crostini topped with vegetarian escalivada: eggplant, red peppers, hazelnut romesco and goat cheese
• Tiny, perfect sandwiches — not on the menu — of thinly-sliced serrano ham and manchego cheese 
• Buttery pork belly bocadillos with apple jam and pickled red onions, served on airy brioche

Greg’s meatballs get a paragraph to themselves. I met Greg Bastien, the chef de cuisine, that night and thought he was neat enough on his own (again with the foxy chefs, Tavernita…please). But after I tried his wagyu beef and pork meatballs, served with a thick, rich hazelnut romesco, I was basically ready to start a life with him. I think I ate eight of them. Meatballs, not lives.

I’m bad at cocktail parties.
Or maybe really great.

The real highlight of the evening, or so my head told me the next morning: kegged cocktails dreamed up by a New York–based company I'm guessing I was supposed to know about — considering they were highlighted as "the acclaimed Tippling Bros."

Well, if I didn’t know them before, I sure do now. There were servers wandering around with three signature cocktails that I will now be having inappropriate dreams about: 

• The Booty Collins, made with green tea–infused vodka, passionfruit, lemon, cayenne and yohimbe, which apparently has aphrodisiac qualities (baaaa-zing!)
• The Comandante Big Nose, made with hibiscus-infused rum, macadamic liqueur, lime, nutmeg and falernum, a tropical simple syrup 
• My personal favorite, the Turista, made with tequila, grapefruit, black pepper syrup, lime, barbecue bitters and served with a boozy preserved cherry

They may have come in small glasses the night of the party, but they packed a mighty punch. I do not recommend drinking six or seven of these cocktails.
But I do recommend a visit to Tavernita. Actually, go tonight, and take me with you. I'll be waiting over here for my invitation.